Stop Waiting and Start Living

I get up in the morning.  I look at my calendar.  I have an appointment at 2 PM.  So what do I do?

I unconsciously slip into a state of “waiting”.  Thinking about what’s ahead.  Am I prepared?  Are all the ducks in a row?  Looking at my navigation app to make sure I know where I need to be in six hours.  In my head I calculate how much time this appointment requires. Anticipation sits like a heavy cloak on my shoulders.  “Gotta jump through that 2 PM hoop then I can move on to….”

To what?? To waiting for the NEXT commitment? To living five steps ahead of where I actually am?  It hits me:  this isn’t living, this is looking at life as a series of obligations to fulfill, events to check off a list, activities that are gateways to …. my real life?  This isn’t living; this is limbo.  A constant state of wandering in the future feeling disconnected and anxious.

The solution?  See what’s in front of me.  Bring my attention to this minute and then the next and then the next; after all I have 360 of them before 2 PM.

No longer in the waiting room, I am active, I am energized, I feel grounded.  Yes, THIS is living.

-Kathy B.